I've Been Yearning

[thisisgroundcontrol]

[Not completely SFW]



Robert couldn't break his thoughts as he sat in his room alone staring out the window. The hotel was quiet. Tom had taken the bands to their concerts in the limo because Robert needed time to think. That was two days ago and they were all away in San Francisco. The excuse had been to spend time with Rekker who, like Robert, didn't want company right now. His mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Some raised terror and panic in his chest until he couldn't breath from the crushing weight. Others were taking h is breath for different reasons and raced like electricity through his whole body, tingling in all the right places. He had a glass of wine in hand with the stem pressing into his thigh as he rhythmically tapped the side with a finger. He felt aggitated and nothing was settling him down.


He looked to the time on the clock and then the door and back to the clock with a heavy sigh. He wanted them to comeback and wanted them to stay away indefinitely. Bloody hell it was madness. He emptied the wine glass in one gulp and thought about refilling it but that would mean a trip to the kitchenette. He was too anxious to stand up and do anything. Too anxious to sit still, too, though he remained rooted in the chair.


The sun was going down and the lights coming on in the city. It filled his mind with memories that sent shivers down his spine, calloused hands working the tension out of his back and hips rocking against his waist. The morning waking to warm touch and need for someone he'd spent weeks trying to hold at arms length. Robert stood to get another glass of wine, wondering what the hell he was doing with a man half his age? He took the wine out of the refridgerator and even it had memories attached to it. He set the bottle down on the counter to stare at it. Sighing he picked it up and poured a glass before returning it to the rack. Rubbing his face, he pushed his fingers through his curls, working them through his tangled hair before picking up the glass.


Half way across the room there were voices in the hall, muffled, that sent such strong shivers through his body that his hand trembled. The wine glass nearly went to the floor as he listened to them move past his door and down the hall. He felt jumpy inside as he sat down on the couch again. He could smell Erik in the furniture and in his bed. No amount of room service had been capable of removing it completely and it hung around him causing his breath to refuse normalcy.


He was dreaming about him, or rather day dreaming about the fingers in his hair, pulling purred sounds from him as they worked the tension out of his scalp. Erik was under his skin and Robert didn't like it. It was too fast, too much for his unsorted thoughts and feelings. And he was addicted. Robert had fought actual addiction to pills and booze and all that came with it that left your head swimming and unable to focus on anything else. This felt the same and he wanted to chase the high. The high that let him forget his anxiety and depression. He forgot everything but the feeling of their skin and their bodies the moment Erik touched him, even when it wasn't sexual.


Sipping the wine he saw his phone on the table. It let his mind run away with fantasies. Maybe he could call. Erik wasn't playing, just hanging around. He could send a cab and get him back here in five hours. That got a sigh because that was too long to even consider. They could be kissing faster if he took Tom's car and picked him up at the venue. Robert gasped aloud and then pressed his forehead into his hand to try and avoid the fantasies that crashed in on him after imagining how he could get the young guitarist back here, back in his presence. Hands in his hair, the weight in his lap, and the lips across his collar bones. He set the glass aside and let his hand drift to the inside of his thigh, across the tight fabric of his pants. Thoughts jumped to the morning in the kitchenette with the Swede pressed to his back, reaching around with his fingers delving low.


He still held his head against the madness like a migraine that wouldn't quit, the thoughts permiated his mind, drove his hand to stroke his manhood roughly through his jeans. His mind went wild with thoughts of Erik in his lap, stradling him and grinding down on his body. His hand pressing harder to his body to try and recreate the feeling of that weight and lewd humping. Everything responded to those thoughts immediately; breath quickening and cock hard, ready for someone who wasn't even in the same city right now. The Brit could only laugh as he remembered being a teenage boy with feelings like these. Years had passed since he felt anything even close to this sensation.


There was no stopping the desire to roughly rub himself and push his hips into his hands, both now shoved between his spread legs as he sat on the couch. He wanted the Swede so bad he froze and sat up, flushed red in the cheeks and across his chest. Nothing was filling in for the young man and at the same time the emotions rushed back of feeling like he was robbing the cradle. Erik was old enough to be in a relationship but the age difference hit hard. He'd pay to have the young man here.


At those thoughts he gave up. Grabbing his phone he was intent on sending a text to Erik but what to say. He kept typing and erasing things that felt foolishly desperate. After more tries than he cared to count Robert dropped the phone on the couch beside him and picked up his wine glass, quickly sipping down the whole glass. His fingers drumming wildly on the arm of the couch. The questioning of his own behavior came back tenfold. What was he doing obsessing over a young rockstar? The driver laughed at himself as he thought maybe this is what a teenage girl felt like in the crowd. All wound up and nothing to do, questioning themselves about what they felt at every turn. He glanced at his phone wondering what a teenage girl would text their rockstar infatuated crush if they could. The only possible response to his train of thought was laughter so intense his cheeks burned. This was beyond crazy.


Giggling fit undercontrol and wine glass drained, he set the stemware on the table and picked the phone back up. It was still open to the messanger, cursor flashing impatiently as he stared. He pushed his curls back, holding them out of the way while his eyes glazed over and focused again. All the messages before were innocuous. Asks for rides or if he'd seen someone or another, questions about concert times. Robert carried the phone and the glass back to the kitchenette, gawking at the screen the whole way and all through pouring another glass of wine. He turned to lean on the counter; wine in one hand and phone in the other. He sipped more wine and could feel the heat from getting drunk. It drew his gaze to the bottle to see he had nearly emptied it in the past hour, maybe less. Sighing he set his glass down and wiped his damp hand on his pant leg before trying to type. His fingers hesitated and then he typed, hitting send before he had time to second guess himself. The message wasn't lewd or demanding. It was simple and honest.


I miss you.


Robert shoved the phone in his back pocket then walked out to open the balcony door. He stepped out with his wine glass while watching the the cars and city on the move but his whole presence was tense, waiting for the buzz of some response. His heart was racing, pounding painfully, while he accepted his admittance of affections he had just sent out to the Swede. Panic rose and fell in tides. First worrying about his own feelings and then imagining that Erik wouldn't want to hear it or that it sounded clingy or strange. Peering at the wine glass in his hand he understood the punks wanting to throw and smash everything. It takes willpower not to chuck the wine glass off the balcony with all of his strength. He set it down on the outside table, still leaning on the rail and scrutinizing the people on the street below. How he wished for and despised the idea that one of the people walking into the hotel lobby below might be the Swedish guitarist who had infested his thoughts all evening.

Comments

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert nearly jumped out of his skin at the vibrating. He was lost in thought and staring out at LA, the strip way in the distance.

He stared at the message laughing.

You're 5 hours away.

There's a long pause as Robert struggles with his own turmoil.

I wish you could just walk in here.

[rockandroll_swede]

So? What is distance when you're so sexy and hot? There are taxis, sweetie.

Erik was drunk and had taken some coke earlier on with his brother but was still yearning to see his man. If Robert was lonely then surely Aarne would be the first to point out that taking care of his man should be priority over booze and coke. The chaos at the bar was only going to intensify anyway with Hunter about to spank Gilly over the counter soon enough.

I'd hire a plane to get to you. I want you. Always do. Those tight pants make me hot and your hair---I want to play with it and make you moan.

The Swede realising he was typing his thoughts out through his fingers. There was a scream behind him as Gilly got his ass spanked.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert hesitated more feeling his mind reeling. He wanted Erik to stay away and yet he desperately wanted him out on the balcony with hands in his hair.

I thought about driving down.

He admitted that much but the next text that came through hit him low and hot. He paused and then typed back.

I'm out on the balcony. You could be sitting in my lap.

He was thinking about his thoughts earlier when he nearly got off on the couch

[rockandroll_swede]

You do not need to waste your petrol on me, Robert. I can pay for a taxi. Your room is quieter than this chaos here at the bar.

Erik knew that back at the hotel sounded better than where he was right now. Hunter now chasing Gilly into the room where his brother was standing with his phone. Shit. Hiding the screen, the guitarist smacked his brother playfully on the ass as he ran past. What a shit show. Turning back to the bar area, Erik noticed Weird and Mick standing ordering drinks together. Then, there was another scream as Joe appeared clutching a bottle of Jack in one hand and pulling on Aarne's hair with the other.

"PEACHY!"

Joe then laughed and began bashing Aarne's head on the countertop softly but in a playful way sending glasses and bottles smashing everywhere. Erik just going wide-eyed but giggling.

I want this. To sit in your lap and tug on that curly hair of yours, grinding down. I'm getting hot for you.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

That's going to be an expensive ride.

Robert, realistically knew everyone involved was wealthy or on the wealthier side, but he was down to earth even drunk. Waiting seemed better than wasting the money.

The drink is getting to him and he picks up his glass to go pop another bottle of wine. He shouldn't but his mind is out of control.

I've been hot for well over an hour. I can't sleep. My bed smells of your damned cologne.

He had tried to lay down, had room service change everything out and still it lingered. His bed made him crazy right now.

[rockandroll_swede]

Money is not an issue, sweetie. I am not a poor man and neither is my brother. Do not worry.

Yes, it would be expensive but Erik was desperate to get back to Robert. Everyone else had their partners and were having fun. He was just here to keep Hunter company and to enjoy the craziness of the bands. But really? All he wanted to do was to cuddle up in his Brit's arms and nuzzle into that hair.

You have? Oh, Robert. You like my scent? It's a Swedish variety that reminds me of the pine forests I grew up in. Woody, musky with slight floral. I'm wearing it now. How tight are your pants?

Moving away from the room, Erik then whispered something into Hunter's ear while he was busy kissing Gilly on the neck. The older Swede giggling and then winking at his younger brother, knowing. Oh, the wily old fox knew. The phone vibrating was the cause of Erik now leaving the bar, walking out to order a taxi from the front desk.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert's drinking more wine and drinking fast. He needed too for his emotions or rather wanted to not care so much about what he was feeling.

I can't escape it. Did you spray it all around before you left?

It was true that even some of his clothes smelled of the Swede and he had no idea why. He laughed at the rest of the text while drinking; taking the glass and bottle back out to the balcony.

Too tight.

[rockandroll_swede]

Erik finished getting the person at the desk to order him a taxi, much to their astonishment that the rock star was willing to pay the hefty bill. But then being a rock star came with privileges. Erik was brother to Hunter, who was lead singer to the Hammers and both their parents were big in the Swedish film industry. $1500 for a taxi was a small price to pay to get back to his Brit teddy bear.

I've ordered the cab. I'm coming back to you. No? You love it though, don't you? I'm wearing it now.

The Swede giggled to himself as he stepped outside the club waiting for the taxi to show up. A few groupies were hanging around the entrance waving to Erik wanting his autograph. He signed a few and noticed one girl pass him her panties. Laughing, he shook his head and then hooked them on the door of the club before walking a little down the road away from the crowds.

I want to pull you out of your pants and suck you.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

He didn't know if he loved it. The smell drove him crazy because his feelings about the guitarist made him feel crazy. That was a good enough reason to stay on the balcony but he also loved watching the people below and listening to the city. Sometimes they overwhelmed him but he could start to see why Rekker liked LA.

You booked a taxi?

It was crazy but endearing in a way that caused the Brit to smile to himself.

That text wasn't helping the situation in his pants at all. Now he wasn't just thinking about some sort of half naked lapdance like before. He left everything on the small table and went inside, stripping everything off and pulling on a robe. That felt better and decreased some of the agitation.

Am I going to get dirty texts for the next 5 hours?

[rockandroll_swede]

Yes. It's all booked and should be here soon. I want you.

Erik couldn't hide the feelings of arousal that were now flickering between his legs. Gods. He wanted the Brit so badly all the time whether he was awake or asleep. It was an insatiable want that couldn't be extinguished. That hair tickling against his skin....

Would you like that? Even drunk I can still work the keys on this phone. I'm getting stiff.

The Swede giggled at the last part as he noticed bright headlights coming his way through the dark. Then there was honking of the horn. It was time to catch his expensive ride back to Robert's hotel room where his Brit was waiting.

Taxi's here.

Getting into the taxi, Erik nodded to the driver telling him where to go and what hotel. He looked a bit shocked but just smiled, knowing it would cost a bomb but who cared? This guy looked every bit the rock star.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Even Robert who didn't have the raging sex drive of most of the rockstars found that he was often wanting, not always for a fuck but definitely the touching. He stared at that first text so long that the second one came in before he answered. He forgot that first one and answered the second instead

I had to take my pants off. You're too far away for me to be feeling like this.

He felt hot as the California air around him. He wasn't going to last until Erik got here if this kept up. He was already about to take care of himself before he started texting.

[rockandroll_swede]

Staring at his phone screen, Erik couldn't help but start imagining Robert back in his room touching himself with one hand and reading his phone screen with the other. It was erotic. As the taxi drove, he leant back in the seat and got comfortable since it was going to be a long drive.

I want to touch myself in the back of this taxi. Pit stops may be needed until I get to you.

This was true enough.

What are you wearing?

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert was so drunk by this time that he sat down, afraid he might drop the phone over the rail accidently. He's laughing now though.

Is that why Aarne was tormenting you on the way out?

He knew the Fin was lying but about what he didn't have an idea about what until now. With how intent the Swede had been Robert couldn't say he was surprised.

That red trimmed silk robe with the cherries on it that I always wear.

It might have been a woman's robe for all he knew given that Ziggy bought it for him but it was amazingly comfortable. He wasn't going to part with it anytime soon ansmd it was his go to for making morning coffee, sometimes even breakfast.

[rockandroll_swede]

Aarne? He loves to torment me and say I love your big cock all the time.

Erik giggled and couldn't help it. Everyone knew the Swede lusted after the Brit's huge cock that practically burst at his pants' seams. The outline drawing the guitarist's eyeline down to where the bulge was.

It sounds pretty. I want to slip it off you and nibble up your abdomen and lick up your chest.

The Swede was turning himself on as he shifted on the seat, knowing full well he wouldn't last the whole five hours without touching himself. His pants were already beginning to get uncomfortable. Just imagining Robert in a robe sent a thrill of pleasure up his legs.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Is he wrong?

Robert was feeling playful and though his emotions were still confused, excited that the Swede would be there soon, or well sooner than if he hadn't said anything about the ache he was feeling.

He knew what was going to happen to Erik if he went on talking like this though and shook his head.

The more times you have to stop, the longer it will take you to get here.

Truth is that Robert is eager for the company too, not just the sex but the contact. Now that his cycle of being alone was broken he was finding long stretches alone more difficult.

[rockandroll_swede]

No, he is not wrong. You are well-endowed and I love having it slide inside me.

Erik knew he'd have to stop with the lewd comments otherwise he'd end up having to pull the taxi over, racking up and even bigger bill, as well as taking longer to get to Robert. So, he'd have to keep himself tucked in his pants until he got to the hotel.

I know but---it is hard. I want to cuddle up to you when you sleep and nuzzle into your fluffy hair.

Perhaps some romantic talking might help? Erik was trying here. Five hours seemed like an eternity from now.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

I hope you notice more than my endowments and hair.

Robert had to send that as his nerves went haywire. What if that was all the Swede wanted? Robert knew himself and knew if he let Erik stay around he'd want more than sex and more of a relationship. It caused him worry that he's glad Erik can't see.

I noticed. I almost rolled over on you because you were. So close to my back while I was still asleep.

Not that he minded. The closeness felt perfect, at least when his nerves weren't running havoc

[rockandroll_swede]

Of course I notice more than that. I love you for you and everything about you.

Erik wanted to get to know Robert even more as time went on and wanted to take him back to his homeland to show him the pine trees and the lakes where he fished as a boy. These things were special to the Swede outside of the crazy world of rock and roll.

Once the tour is over I want to take you back home to my birthplace. There are large pine trees and fresh water lakes. It's quite special to me.

The Swede closed his eyes and started to enjoy the ride a little more, just keeping his phone close, listening out for the beep telling him he had a message back from Robert.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert needed this kind of reassuring. Maybe more than others did because of his own misgivings. Either way it was good to hear.

I thought you were coming back to England with me?

Not that he minded either way. He just liked to plan

[rockandroll_swede]

Oh---well, yes. I mean after we visit your cottage. It sounds sweet.

Erik was drunk and not thinking properly. They had discussed about visiting England, hadn't they? The Swede wanting to visit Robert in his cottage where they could spend some quality alone time together bonding and getting to know each other even more. It sounded romantic too.

It sounds romantic staying with you in your cottage.

Looking out the window, Erik began thinking about what it would be like to visit England and to actually live with Robert in his cottage. His heart skipped a beat.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert liked the idea if sharing his seclusion, on his terms. A few weeks visiting in the fall would be nice.

Rekker says I live like an old hermit witch.

He knew part of it was his brother teasing and some of it was nearly the truth.

[rockandroll_swede]

An old hermit witch? You are more like a handsome wizard or one of the old wise men from my tribe. I'd love to see you in a robe walking about bare foot. If you are a witch then can I ride your broomstick?

The last comment causing the Swede to giggle because it was hard to resist. Even though he had hours to go, Robert felt so close right now. Maybe it was because he was imagining the handsome smile the man gave off every time he was happy. That boyish expression he had and that lantern jaw. Erik loved it all.

It will be an honour to stay with you, Robert.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

Robert started laughing as he sat out on the balcony. There was something liberating about talking to Erik without the option of physical contact. It was hard to place but it felt good.

From experience, you can't stay off my broomstick.

Robert couldn't resist, especially drunk. It was flirting but without pressure and it brought comfort. Maybe they should do this routinely for his sanity? It was a thought.

I've never had anyone but family at the cottage.

Tom had been there but the man was practically family.

[rockandroll_swede]

If Erik could hear Robert laughing now he'd smile and find it adorable as he often did when hearing the Brit laugh. There was something about that smile and how the driver's expression lit up when he was happy or amused. Erik had observed this when sat in the passenger seat admiring his fluffy Brit.

I never want to get off. Then, I am privileged indeed. Do you have a nice garden?

The Swede loved the outdoors and loved getting his hands dirty with the soil and gardening. Building and making things interested Erik too unlike Hunter who didn't like dirtying his hands at all. Running a hand through his hair once more, the Swede smile to himself.

We could spend the whole time in bed cuddling, fucking and making each other feel good.

[thisisgroundcontrol]

I have several acres of garden and pastures. I told you I have horses and goats?

Robert could nearly live off the land for parts of the year which had been his intention. Hearing what Ziggy said about the world only increased that desire.

Having a garden means you have to get out of bed and take care of it. I don't live much like a rockstar when I'm home.