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[Not completely SFW]
Robert couldn't break his thoughts as he sat in his room alone staring out the window. The hotel was quiet. Tom had taken the bands to their concerts in the limo because Robert needed time to think. That was two days ago and they were all away in San Francisco. The excuse had been to spend time with Rekker who, like Robert, didn't want company right now. His mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Some raised terror and panic in his chest until he couldn't breath from the crushing weight. Others were taking h is breath for different reasons and raced like electricity through his whole body, tingling in all the right places. He had a glass of wine in hand with the stem pressing into his thigh as he rhythmically tapped the side with a finger. He felt aggitated and nothing was settling him down.
He looked to the time on the clock and then the door and back to the clock with a heavy sigh. He wanted them to comeback and wanted them to stay away indefinitely. Bloody hell it was madness. He emptied the wine glass in one gulp and thought about refilling it but that would mean a trip to the kitchenette. He was too anxious to stand up and do anything. Too anxious to sit still, too, though he remained rooted in the chair.
The sun was going down and the lights coming on in the city. It filled his mind with memories that sent shivers down his spine, calloused hands working the tension out of his back and hips rocking against his waist. The morning waking to warm touch and need for someone he'd spent weeks trying to hold at arms length. Robert stood to get another glass of wine, wondering what the hell he was doing with a man half his age? He took the wine out of the refridgerator and even it had memories attached to it. He set the bottle down on the counter to stare at it. Sighing he picked it up and poured a glass before returning it to the rack. Rubbing his face, he pushed his fingers through his curls, working them through his tangled hair before picking up the glass.
Half way across the room there were voices in the hall, muffled, that sent such strong shivers through his body that his hand trembled. The wine glass nearly went to the floor as he listened to them move past his door and down the hall. He felt jumpy inside as he sat down on the couch again. He could smell Erik in the furniture and in his bed. No amount of room service had been capable of removing it completely and it hung around him causing his breath to refuse normalcy.
He was dreaming about him, or rather day dreaming about the fingers in his hair, pulling purred sounds from him as they worked the tension out of his scalp. Erik was under his skin and Robert didn't like it. It was too fast, too much for his unsorted thoughts and feelings. And he was addicted. Robert had fought actual addiction to pills and booze and all that came with it that left your head swimming and unable to focus on anything else. This felt the same and he wanted to chase the high. The high that let him forget his anxiety and depression. He forgot everything but the feeling of their skin and their bodies the moment Erik touched him, even when it wasn't sexual.
Sipping the wine he saw his phone on the table. It let his mind run away with fantasies. Maybe he could call. Erik wasn't playing, just hanging around. He could send a cab and get him back here in five hours. That got a sigh because that was too long to even consider. They could be kissing faster if he took Tom's car and picked him up at the venue. Robert gasped aloud and then pressed his forehead into his hand to try and avoid the fantasies that crashed in on him after imagining how he could get the young guitarist back here, back in his presence. Hands in his hair, the weight in his lap, and the lips across his collar bones. He set the glass aside and let his hand drift to the inside of his thigh, across the tight fabric of his pants. Thoughts jumped to the morning in the kitchenette with the Swede pressed to his back, reaching around with his fingers delving low.
He still held his head against the madness like a migraine that wouldn't quit, the thoughts permiated his mind, drove his hand to stroke his manhood roughly through his jeans. His mind went wild with thoughts of Erik in his lap, stradling him and grinding down on his body. His hand pressing harder to his body to try and recreate the feeling of that weight and lewd humping. Everything responded to those thoughts immediately; breath quickening and cock hard, ready for someone who wasn't even in the same city right now. The Brit could only laugh as he remembered being a teenage boy with feelings like these. Years had passed since he felt anything even close to this sensation.
There was no stopping the desire to roughly rub himself and push his hips into his hands, both now shoved between his spread legs as he sat on the couch. He wanted the Swede so bad he froze and sat up, flushed red in the cheeks and across his chest. Nothing was filling in for the young man and at the same time the emotions rushed back of feeling like he was robbing the cradle. Erik was old enough to be in a relationship but the age difference hit hard. He'd pay to have the young man here.
At those thoughts he gave up. Grabbing his phone he was intent on sending a text to Erik but what to say. He kept typing and erasing things that felt foolishly desperate. After more tries than he cared to count Robert dropped the phone on the couch beside him and picked up his wine glass, quickly sipping down the whole glass. His fingers drumming wildly on the arm of the couch. The questioning of his own behavior came back tenfold. What was he doing obsessing over a young rockstar? The driver laughed at himself as he thought maybe this is what a teenage girl felt like in the crowd. All wound up and nothing to do, questioning themselves about what they felt at every turn. He glanced at his phone wondering what a teenage girl would text their rockstar infatuated crush if they could. The only possible response to his train of thought was laughter so intense his cheeks burned. This was beyond crazy.
Giggling fit undercontrol and wine glass drained, he set the stemware on the table and picked the phone back up. It was still open to the messanger, cursor flashing impatiently as he stared. He pushed his curls back, holding them out of the way while his eyes glazed over and focused again. All the messages before were innocuous. Asks for rides or if he'd seen someone or another, questions about concert times. Robert carried the phone and the glass back to the kitchenette, gawking at the screen the whole way and all through pouring another glass of wine. He turned to lean on the counter; wine in one hand and phone in the other. He sipped more wine and could feel the heat from getting drunk. It drew his gaze to the bottle to see he had nearly emptied it in the past hour, maybe less. Sighing he set his glass down and wiped his damp hand on his pant leg before trying to type. His fingers hesitated and then he typed, hitting send before he had time to second guess himself. The message wasn't lewd or demanding. It was simple and honest.
I miss you.
Robert shoved the phone in his back pocket then walked out to open the balcony door. He stepped out with his wine glass while watching the the cars and city on the move but his whole presence was tense, waiting for the buzz of some response. His heart was racing, pounding painfully, while he accepted his admittance of affections he had just sent out to the Swede. Panic rose and fell in tides. First worrying about his own feelings and then imagining that Erik wouldn't want to hear it or that it sounded clingy or strange. Peering at the wine glass in his hand he understood the punks wanting to throw and smash everything. It takes willpower not to chuck the wine glass off the balcony with all of his strength. He set it down on the outside table, still leaning on the rail and scrutinizing the people on the street below. How he wished for and despised the idea that one of the people walking into the hotel lobby below might be the Swedish guitarist who had infested his thoughts all evening.
Robert couldn't break his thoughts as he sat in his room alone staring out the window. The hotel was quiet. Tom had taken the bands to their concerts in the limo because Robert needed time to think. That was two days ago and they were all away in San Francisco. The excuse had been to spend time with Rekker who, like Robert, didn't want company right now. His mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Some raised terror and panic in his chest until he couldn't breath from the crushing weight. Others were taking h is breath for different reasons and raced like electricity through his whole body, tingling in all the right places. He had a glass of wine in hand with the stem pressing into his thigh as he rhythmically tapped the side with a finger. He felt aggitated and nothing was settling him down.
He looked to the time on the clock and then the door and back to the clock with a heavy sigh. He wanted them to comeback and wanted them to stay away indefinitely. Bloody hell it was madness. He emptied the wine glass in one gulp and thought about refilling it but that would mean a trip to the kitchenette. He was too anxious to stand up and do anything. Too anxious to sit still, too, though he remained rooted in the chair.
The sun was going down and the lights coming on in the city. It filled his mind with memories that sent shivers down his spine, calloused hands working the tension out of his back and hips rocking against his waist. The morning waking to warm touch and need for someone he'd spent weeks trying to hold at arms length. Robert stood to get another glass of wine, wondering what the hell he was doing with a man half his age? He took the wine out of the refridgerator and even it had memories attached to it. He set the bottle down on the counter to stare at it. Sighing he picked it up and poured a glass before returning it to the rack. Rubbing his face, he pushed his fingers through his curls, working them through his tangled hair before picking up the glass.
Half way across the room there were voices in the hall, muffled, that sent such strong shivers through his body that his hand trembled. The wine glass nearly went to the floor as he listened to them move past his door and down the hall. He felt jumpy inside as he sat down on the couch again. He could smell Erik in the furniture and in his bed. No amount of room service had been capable of removing it completely and it hung around him causing his breath to refuse normalcy.
He was dreaming about him, or rather day dreaming about the fingers in his hair, pulling purred sounds from him as they worked the tension out of his scalp. Erik was under his skin and Robert didn't like it. It was too fast, too much for his unsorted thoughts and feelings. And he was addicted. Robert had fought actual addiction to pills and booze and all that came with it that left your head swimming and unable to focus on anything else. This felt the same and he wanted to chase the high. The high that let him forget his anxiety and depression. He forgot everything but the feeling of their skin and their bodies the moment Erik touched him, even when it wasn't sexual.
Sipping the wine he saw his phone on the table. It let his mind run away with fantasies. Maybe he could call. Erik wasn't playing, just hanging around. He could send a cab and get him back here in five hours. That got a sigh because that was too long to even consider. They could be kissing faster if he took Tom's car and picked him up at the venue. Robert gasped aloud and then pressed his forehead into his hand to try and avoid the fantasies that crashed in on him after imagining how he could get the young guitarist back here, back in his presence. Hands in his hair, the weight in his lap, and the lips across his collar bones. He set the glass aside and let his hand drift to the inside of his thigh, across the tight fabric of his pants. Thoughts jumped to the morning in the kitchenette with the Swede pressed to his back, reaching around with his fingers delving low.
He still held his head against the madness like a migraine that wouldn't quit, the thoughts permiated his mind, drove his hand to stroke his manhood roughly through his jeans. His mind went wild with thoughts of Erik in his lap, stradling him and grinding down on his body. His hand pressing harder to his body to try and recreate the feeling of that weight and lewd humping. Everything responded to those thoughts immediately; breath quickening and cock hard, ready for someone who wasn't even in the same city right now. The Brit could only laugh as he remembered being a teenage boy with feelings like these. Years had passed since he felt anything even close to this sensation.
There was no stopping the desire to roughly rub himself and push his hips into his hands, both now shoved between his spread legs as he sat on the couch. He wanted the Swede so bad he froze and sat up, flushed red in the cheeks and across his chest. Nothing was filling in for the young man and at the same time the emotions rushed back of feeling like he was robbing the cradle. Erik was old enough to be in a relationship but the age difference hit hard. He'd pay to have the young man here.
At those thoughts he gave up. Grabbing his phone he was intent on sending a text to Erik but what to say. He kept typing and erasing things that felt foolishly desperate. After more tries than he cared to count Robert dropped the phone on the couch beside him and picked up his wine glass, quickly sipping down the whole glass. His fingers drumming wildly on the arm of the couch. The questioning of his own behavior came back tenfold. What was he doing obsessing over a young rockstar? The driver laughed at himself as he thought maybe this is what a teenage girl felt like in the crowd. All wound up and nothing to do, questioning themselves about what they felt at every turn. He glanced at his phone wondering what a teenage girl would text their rockstar infatuated crush if they could. The only possible response to his train of thought was laughter so intense his cheeks burned. This was beyond crazy.
Giggling fit undercontrol and wine glass drained, he set the stemware on the table and picked the phone back up. It was still open to the messanger, cursor flashing impatiently as he stared. He pushed his curls back, holding them out of the way while his eyes glazed over and focused again. All the messages before were innocuous. Asks for rides or if he'd seen someone or another, questions about concert times. Robert carried the phone and the glass back to the kitchenette, gawking at the screen the whole way and all through pouring another glass of wine. He turned to lean on the counter; wine in one hand and phone in the other. He sipped more wine and could feel the heat from getting drunk. It drew his gaze to the bottle to see he had nearly emptied it in the past hour, maybe less. Sighing he set his glass down and wiped his damp hand on his pant leg before trying to type. His fingers hesitated and then he typed, hitting send before he had time to second guess himself. The message wasn't lewd or demanding. It was simple and honest.
I miss you.
Robert shoved the phone in his back pocket then walked out to open the balcony door. He stepped out with his wine glass while watching the the cars and city on the move but his whole presence was tense, waiting for the buzz of some response. His heart was racing, pounding painfully, while he accepted his admittance of affections he had just sent out to the Swede. Panic rose and fell in tides. First worrying about his own feelings and then imagining that Erik wouldn't want to hear it or that it sounded clingy or strange. Peering at the wine glass in his hand he understood the punks wanting to throw and smash everything. It takes willpower not to chuck the wine glass off the balcony with all of his strength. He set it down on the outside table, still leaning on the rail and scrutinizing the people on the street below. How he wished for and despised the idea that one of the people walking into the hotel lobby below might be the Swedish guitarist who had infested his thoughts all evening.
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Date: 2021-09-26 12:23 pm (UTC)From:That got a small giggle out of the Swede who nuzzled into Robert's thick hair, sighing softly. Robert had a mischievous side? This is something Erik wanted to see in action sometime.
"You are a naughty boy too like us? That I'd like to see."
A tap on Robert's nose with his finger and Erik was kissing the Brit's cheek. His heart was pounding in his chest because he was in love. The whole five hour taxi ride had been worth it. Of course it had. There was no way he could have spent another minute back at that bar because he ached for Robert's company.
"The first kiss is always the most special I say. Du är vacker---you are beautiful."
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Date: 2021-09-27 02:04 am (UTC)From:He's trying to be as honest as he can be and it hurts inside. However, he wouldn't hide anything from Erik that was the road to worse pain and bitterness. "I'm willing to try though."
It was all he could promise. Then he was smiling again, moving on to better topics. "Tom is the one to watch. He used to be the prankster back in school."
There's a lot to adjust to and it's going to take time. It might take arguments and misunderstandings too but it felt right and worth those things. He laughed while stroking Erik's hair. "I know you fell asleep in my lap on purpose now while we were driving. You're so boyish."
And he loved it. The strange mix of dirty rockstar and innocence Erik had was attractive.
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Date: 2021-09-29 05:48 pm (UTC)From:The guitarist stroked Robert's cheek and kissed it gently. He then listened to the man's words and felt a pang of panic inside. Stifling his career? Would that actually happen? Erik didn't want to think about that because he wanted Robert in his life now and couldn't even think about being away from him even during his guitar career. He was in love and his heart was beating faster now.
"You won't stifle me, sötnos. I want to have a career, yes, but with you too. I can't be without you."
The younger man just pulled Robert closer, nuzzling in and sighing softly against his ear. He let out a soft giggle at falling asleep on the Brit's lap. Of course he'd done that on purpose.
"I am boyish? Hunter often says I am. You're handsome and a fluffy teddy bear."
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Date: 2021-09-30 06:50 pm (UTC)From:Robert turns serious though and hugs the Swede in his arms. "I'd rather you have your dream career, even if it means without me." It's not that he wants to lose Erik, he doesn't, but he wants him to have all the life he wants, all the dreams he wants. For Robert that is part of deep love, the willingness to let people go when they need to be free or somewhere else.
He's glad for the snuggling though and sighs into that hug. "You are definitely boyish."
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Date: 2021-10-02 06:48 pm (UTC)From:Erik couldn't help but laugh a little at that. No doubt they were all young just like the Swede unless Aarne brought people closer to Robert's age, which was highly unlikely. The whole thing was probably one big huge trashfire or shit show, depending on Aarne's mood and the ideas he had for Robert getting laid.
"I---I don't want to be without you. Even following my dreams of becoming a famous guitarist I want you there too, sötnos. We can follow both our dreams together."
The Swede's face fell a little at the thought of losing his Brit. His heart wouldn't be able to take such a loss and he'd be lost. Robert was someone he didn't want to let go at all. His hands caressing those lavish curls as he kissed the driver's jaw.
"You think so? Do you find it sexy?"
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Date: 2021-10-03 01:07 am (UTC)From:Robert stroked Erik's cheek as he thought about their future. He didn't want to leave teh Swede but he wanted to be realistic about what the future would be like for the both of them.
"My place will be here. I won't be able to tour with you most of the time." He leaned his head closer to Erik's while considering the possibilities. "We might have to spend months apart at a time."
The Brit laughed at the kiss and smiled. "You're in my bed. I think that answers your question."
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Date: 2021-10-03 07:06 am (UTC)From:Erik giggled and found the idea of Robert being inundated with a gang of screaming girl groupies to be hilarious. Not for the poor Brit driver though who probably sought solitude from the constant craziness of the bands. The Swede leant into his lover's hand on his cheek and sighed, drawing little circles with his finger on Robert's chest.
"I know. I just don't want to think about that time when we will be apart. You're a limo driver and I'm a rock star. We're a strange couple aren't we, sötnos? But my love won't stop me from being with you whenever I can. If we are apart then I will write and we can use the phone."
There was always a way. Even driving for five hours didn't put the guitarist off because he just had to be with Robert.
"Your bed is nice and soft just like you."
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Date: 2021-10-03 05:22 pm (UTC)From:"We should. I want to think about being with you in a few years when you're a famous guitarist too."
There's a sincerity to the words but also Robert needed to think this way. Relationships were long term for him. He continued stroking Erik's hair and smiled.
"Does it make you sleepy?" He could easily imagine the young guitarist getting sleepy after the chaos and long drive.
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Date: 2021-10-06 07:49 pm (UTC)From:Erik knew that the age gap might cause problems further down the line but he didn't want to think about that just now. All he wanted was to be with Robert and have the best possible times he could with the man. The future, well that was far away for the moment. The Swede enjoyed having his hair stroked as he giggled and picked up one of Robert's hands kissing his knuckles.
"You make me sleepy because of your big, fluffy hair. I love falling asleep with your hair or chest as my pillow."
The guitarist kissed Robert's palm and then nuzzled into that soft mane of hair, content to be with his Brit.
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Date: 2021-10-07 10:38 pm (UTC)From:The age gap was something Robert could joke about on the outside but the interior sadness was there. If he lived until Erik was 60 it would be a miracle and that was so young to lose a partner. His heartached because he was in love and ached over that loss.
He couldn't help but laugh at the boyishness. "OH! I know. I woke up one night needing to take a piss and your hands and face were wrapped in my hair to the point I gave up."
He's teasing, loving as much as serious and filled with humor. He knew the Swede loved his hair. "You can sleep if you need to."
It was an offer because Robert might soon get tired himself with his lover in his arms and all the wine he had drank.
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Date: 2021-10-11 08:52 pm (UTC)From:Erik kissed Robert's cheek and found himself becoming a little more sleepy because the warmth of the other man and his soft hair was so relaxing. The story about waking up with the Swede's hands tangled in his hair made Erik giggle. He had no knowledge of this event because he had been passed out asleep.
"Oh? This happened? I love you."
The guitarist nuzzled close and wondered if Robert needed to sleep because of his young rock star loving wearing him out.
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Date: 2021-10-12 03:37 pm (UTC)From:Robert just stroked Erik's back where his arm was around the younger man. This felt good, to lay here in the middle of the night, or well it was near sunrise now that he thought about it.
"I don't mind." He didn't. The cuddliness of his young partner was always welcome. "You sound sleepy. You can close your eyes."
No doubt, once Erik fell asleep the relaxation would pull Robert in too.
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Date: 2021-10-12 07:38 pm (UTC)From:Erik giggled at this and was enjoying Robert stroking his back, sighing at the older man's touch. What time was it even? The Swede didn't know and didn't really care because all he wanted was to spend the time cuddling his Brit in bed. It was warm and comfy and sleep was now pulling the guitarist's eyes shut.
"Are you sleepy, sötnos? I want to use your body as a big warm, fluffy pillow."
He kissed Robert on the lips then rested his head on the older's man's fluffy chest closing his eyes. Erik was soon sleeping deeply, making soft pleased noises as he dreamed.
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Date: 2021-10-12 07:43 pm (UTC)From:"Not as sleepy as you are." He kissed Erik's forehead. "You always do."
Not that he minded the younger man cuddling all over him most of the night.